https://slama.dev/comeback/
Ivuska, you won't believe what happened to me.
Did your kefir ferment?
Don't be silly.
Sorry.
Hey, you don't even remember Kvetos from the flea market, do you?
Kvetos from the flea market?
A crook.
Is that who you got this drunk with?
I thought you weren't talking to him.
I'm not, normally.
But today I had a good time.
I can see that.
He kept bragging like crazy.
But I showed him.
I hope you weren't bragging too.
I had to.
I couldn't exactly tell him the truth, that wouldn't work.
Dad.
Ivuska, he keeps showing off that he has the biggest construction company in the district and that Ruzena is the deputy mayor.
Ruzena?
Didn't she go to a special school?
Exactly.
So I just had to tell him.
And what exactly?
That I'm the director of Metrostav.
And Ozzak is a notary.
And I lost my phone.
Maria, this is a mess.
Turn that off.
What is it?
Something for nausea.
Ozzak's recipe.
And what's in it?
If I told you, it would work the other way.
Yuck!
I'd rather make some tea.
What about the phone?
That's the least of my worries.
Oh God, I'm an idiot.
I promised him we'd come.
He said he'd slaughter a pig.
Great.
I've been wanting Ruzena's recipe for black cake anyway.
Are you crazy?
How can we go after what I told him?
Well then we just won't go.
That won't work either.
He'd say I'm scared of him.
I don't know what you two have against each other.
I just can't stand how he's always showing off.
Like you don't do that.
But I'm glad you at least left me out of it.
You didn't?
You dance flamenco.
Competitively.
Sorry.
When he was showing me photos of little Kvetos at dance school, I couldn't help myself.
Wonderful.
So I'll grab castanets, Ozzak will get glasses, and we'll head to Volary.
By metro.
Cut it out.
Sarcasm won't help us.
Wait.
I don't have my phone.
Kvetos won't be able to reach me, he'll get offended, and we won't have to go to the pig slaughter.
We're going to the pig slaughter!
How do you know about the pig slaughter?
Kvetos called.
You left your phone at my place.
This is bad, hey, Kvetos told me to my face that I'm a notary.
So what?
I just went along with it.
Everyone thinks that about you anyway, right?
What is this?
Tea.
Linden.
You wanted it.
It's disgustingly sweet.
Maybe I put too much linden in?
I'll just have water.
It's business.
Get out of here!
For God's sake, you stink.
It's for the blood sausage soup.
I couldn't get one anywhere.
In the end, young Coufal and his buddies hauled it from work for a bottle.
From work? He's only seven!
Good thing they only gave him wine.
And where are you returning it?
Blood sausage soup, he said.
Yeah, we're going to our cousin's for a pig slaughter.
We're not going.
I don't get it, why don't you want to go to the pig slaughter?
It's complicated.
It's simple.
He told his cousin we're some fancy family and now he's afraid they'll find us out.
Don't worry, bro, we can pull it off.
And you think anyone's going to believe you're a notary?
Oh well, I'll just drink a bit more than usual and then start screaming that I see white mice.
Don't be daft.
Sausages don't just lie around on the street.
Well, I once found one like that.
It could be a terrible embarrassment.
What embarrassment?
When I rinsed it off.
You can't cheat your family just because you can't bluff a little.
I'm not cheating and I'm not bluffing.
I should have stood up to my brother.
Come on, tell me how it tastes.
Ozzak, cut it out.
You know he can't lie.
Well, Kvetos, you'd actually bluff pretty well.
Director.
Look, take that pot and go return it to those kids.
Now?
Do you know how heavy it is?
It's still full of tea.
If you're not up for it, I could help you out.
How exactly?
I could maybe go with you guys.
As your spokesperson.
You wouldn't have to lie and I'd say everything for you.
Director.
Pepita, listen, you can't come along as a spokesperson, that's completely absurd.
What's absurd is not getting anything from relatives.
Hi.
Hi, mom.
What did great-aunt send me?
Nothing?
She said she's not falling for these tricks anymore.
What's wrong?
Ivo, can we leave a Fidorka bar at your place?
A Fidorka bar?
Why?
We got it from great-aunt.
I'm sorry, what?
We agreed that whoever goes the longest without saying one letter gets to eat it.
And if we kept it at home, someone would eat it at night.
How dare you.
I'm hungry, man.
Yeah, last time you ate my pear.
Oh God.
Ivo, do you know which letter it is?
I think so.
Well, great then.
R?
Yeah.
What if I gave you another Fidorka bar?
Would you stop this?
Great-aunt deliberately gave us just one to spark our competitiveness.
Great idea, huh?
Grumbling's not allowed either.
I don't want to risk it.
I'd like to see that.
When the teacher quizzes you tomorrow on the French Revolution.
Damn it.
It's morning.
Where did this come from?
Ozzak left it for you.
So you'd know.
He really thinks that if he hangs a pig here, I'll go to the pig slaughter.
In that case, I don't understand why he tore down my poster of Tri Clunky yesterday.
He hates Nohavica.
Hello?
Yes, I'll pass you over.
Pacovsky!
Hey, Kvetos.
Well, how do you think I feel, you know, we had a few drinks yesterday.
Well, I went for a run this morning too, of course.
How far?
Only five kilometers, right?
Well, there you go, it'll get even better.
What woman?
Oh, the phone's answered by my... secretary.
Well, you know, I wouldn't pick an ugly one.
Taking it easy?
No way, you know, the metro doesn't build itself.
Yeah, hold on.
Xenie, stop standing around and take those invoices to accounting.
Chop, chop, chop, chop, get out of my sight.
Damn secretaries, they never do anything.
You have a secretary too?
Be glad you don't, she's nothing special.
And how's Ruzena?
She's heading to parliament.
Well of course, who else should be there but her?
Yeah, Kvetos, listen, about the pig slaughter.
Look, I'm completely booked until June, completely, you know, and...
No, of course I'm not bragging.
I can take time off whenever I want.
What?
Saturday, sure, no problem.
Sure.
Yeah, all three of us.
Hold on.
Xenie, what am I doing on Saturday?
Cancel the minister.
Ruzena will fire him after the elections anyway.
And call Iva and the doctor and tell them we're going to Volary on Saturday.
Yeah, it's all set.
I'm so looking forward to it.
Builder's honor.
See ya.
Xenie.
Jesus Christ.
What just came over me?
Oh, you men.
You were lying just like Zoran when he calls his brother.
The other day he even told him he bought an island.
Well, that's really something.
You know.
Although it's really just a small island.
Bye!
Bye.
Coffee.
Well, thanks a lot.
Sorry.
I was kept after school for two hours and all you say is sorry?
You know I'm not allowed to say that letter.
Then don't help me at all.
Sorry.
Everyone was laughing at me.
Because of you I said that the Jacobins "pampered" Louis the Sixteenth.
Shut up.
I didn't tell you to say "pampered."
Because of your stupid game I got a failing grade.
I got a failing grade too.
But in math.
Because you still don't know how to divide fractions.
And you don't even know they executed him.
You're still not ready?
Mom, couldn't we just go to dad's normally today?
When he starts paying child support properly, then for all I care you don't have to go at all.
Ivo.
So you're going to the pig slaughter after all.
Dad maybe.
Not Ozzak?
He's been getting sick from grass.
He thinks it'll clean out his stomach.
I want to see how they'll react to a notary who vomits daisies.
Such a show over a bit of headcheese, right?
Exactly.
So you're not going?
Am I crazy?
Having to pretend I can do flamenco?
Flamenco?
Yeah.
Oh, Ozzak told me you'd be playing the womanizer, that didn't make sense to me.
Neither womanizer nor flamenco.
I'm not going anywhere.
You're right.
One should maintain dignity in front of relatives.
Ow, Sasa!
He's revving up the car!
Uncle Horvat drives me to social services.
He says where's his office?
I can't read your handwriting.
On Celetna Street.
Damn!
What?
That's not a proper pub!
Jesus, does it really matter?
It sure does!
I may be a notary, but I'm not going to be a teetotaler because of it.
But back to the point.
What if I went there alone?
Oh, come on...
.
You know, I've already eaten enough grass.
And I'd bring you back sausages.
What about the snout?
You'd be lost there without me, right?
Oh God, this is going to be a disaster.
Easy, bro, we'll manage.
Hey, we know how to work in disguise, right?
Really?
We didn't free Ivuska that time, but in those masks we made it right up to her.
Yeah, you mean when we visited her in the hospital's infectious ward?
Yeah!
I promised I'd help you, and Iva doesn't want to go.
You've completely lost your mind.
Great, we'll manage.
Dad.
Out!
Sorry, these clothes probably aren't good enough.
Turn him away too.
Now!
You don't know what it's like at a performance at the National Theatre.
We went to dad's and he didn't let us in.
I'm the winner!
Winner!
Lexa, what do you mean winner?
I didn't say it.
Again?
No, I said "that"?
And that's not the letter.
Yes it is.
No, it isn't, "that" is allowed.
Oh, great.
Should I go then?
No, Ivo, wait.
We'll tell you what it was like there.
Dad and his new wife bought a villa.
They must have done well for themselves.
Well, she breeds Great Danes.
Purebreds.
Really, she had lots of puppies and let me play with them.
And the wife's okay?
She bought us sundaes, but I didn't really like them.
Sundaes?
Auntie, a sundae, like ice cream.
Oh right, a sundae.
I like her.
She wears nice snakes.
Grass snakes.
And she had a really great dog.
I know, you already said that.
No, that's not what I said.
He meant, like, a pig.
Oh, a pig.
What happened?
I'm such an idiot.
Kvetos?
Why does he keep calling me?
What was he bragging about?
How do you know?
Zoran only calls when he's bought something new.
He just bought a BMW, you know.
Oh dear, and what about you?
Luckily I didn't mention the brand.
Just that my car is better.
Marcelka, Zoran has several cars though.
Could he lend me one for the weekend?
Oh, you men.
I don't know exactly how many cars we have at home right now.
But there's one big one in the yard that we don't use much.
And what brand is it?
I don't know.
It sounded like some kind of shellfish.
Renault Laguna?
That must be it.
You really overdid it.
What are you talking about?
Don't play dumb.
Kvetos called me.
What happened?
Get this -- Kvetos complained that I never told him we have a cousin Simona in Prague.
No way.
She has two kids, she's very poor, and when Kvetos invited her to the pig slaughter, she said she can't come because she can't afford the train.
Poor woman.
You really think you're going to ride to Volary with me?
Mooching off my relatives?
I could hitchhike.
But then don't expect me to say nice things about you, cousin.
So what time do we leave tomorrow?
Five.
That's on me.
I don't want to.
No suit, no pig slaughter.
But why?
Because I said so.
At least try it on.
That's what you said about that nice piece of cloth for my neck too.
At least try it on.
Then I found out I was in the Young Pioneers.
That was a different era.
I don't want to!
Fine, I'm calling Kvetos.
Hi, Tomas speaking.
Listen, bad news, the doctor won't make it after all.
Some flu or something. Hey, no worries, more sausages for us.
Sure, let's do it.
I know you're not really calling him.
Stop faking, it doesn't work on me.
Give it here.
Weasels.
Alright, he's feeling a bit better.
So tomorrow then.
Yeah, we're bringing Simona.
Bye.
Where have you been so long?
I was in the park.
Where?
In the park.
I thought you said "in a trap."
What's this supposed to be?
A dress.
I'm not going.
At least try it on.
You said that about braces too, and then I had to wear them for three years.
And look how nice and straight your teeth are.
I'm not going.
Kvetos's wife Kveta will be tap dancing.
No.
Do it for me.
I'm not going to make a fool of myself just because you and Kvetos keep trying to one-up each other.
Ivuska, please.
No.
Ivo, come here.
This is when Kvetos and I went fishing.
We were seven.
And who's got the bigger fish?
He always had the upper hand.
When I had a bike, he already had a moped.
When I had a moped, he already had a Zhiguli.
Here we went pony riding together.
And who's riding the goat?
You.
See.
Dad, I don't even know flamenco.
You think those hicks will know the difference?
Ivo.
Oh, fine.
But I'm keeping the dress.
It was a Hummer!
What?
The car is called a Hummer.
Are you holding a grenade?
No, it's just a keychain.
Zoran bought the car from some soldiers and this was already on it.
So he'll lend it to me?
He was in a good mood today.
He finally has a bigger yacht than his brother.
Marcelka, thank you.
You're a treasure.
Thank the Somali pirates.
I thought you arranged the car for me.
But only with a driver.
Yeah, he'll give me a driver too.
He wasn't in that good a mood.
But I figured Xenie could come too.
And who's that again?
Oh, right.
And is the Hummer bigger than the BMW? There'll be a lot of us.
Zoran sometimes holds board meetings in it, so we'll all fit even if we leave the pool table in.
Hurry up!
Marcelka's already here!
One moment!
Wait, you need to tie my tie!
Jesus, stop fussing!
Tie!
A Corvette is a car!
Chevrolet!
I don't get why you couldn't just get dressed at home.
Right, like I'd want someone to see me like this on the street.
Who's going to see you at five in the morning?
What time do you think the guys get back from the late-night bar?
Does it suit you?
She looks like a princess.
Thank you.
That green Opel out there, does it belong to someone from the building?
Well, Ozzak, you actually look like a human being.
It can be taken off.
No suit, no pig slaughter.
Pacovsky, you didn't crash into that Opel, did you?
I didn't crash into it, more like drove over it.
It's really hard to see down from the cabin.
What's this?
If there are any problems, you'll be called away for an inspection of the Blanka tunnel.
Marcelka, you think of everything.
Xenie.
Hello, family.
Hello, Simona.
Simona?
So you'll be the one dancing, huh?
Smart.
Wait, what's he doing here?
That's Simona's partner Julek.
Poor guy, hasn't had a job in three years.
Which happens to be true.
Marcelka, can't we go faster?
We can't.
The four-wheel drive locked up.
All by itself.
I feel like we're driving across a field.
We are driving across a field.
It's really hard to see past the winch.
I'll call him that we'll be late.
I'm worried that if they butcher the pig without me, you'll pay for it.
Like, with me it would...
No answer.
Hey, Kvetos, hi, so...
Hope I didn't wake you, you old sleepyhead.
Yeah, we're on our way, of course we're coming.
What do you mean, just showing off?
He can't be serious.
What?
Kvetos, I cancelled a meeting with a minister because of you.
And Xenie here gave up her trip to the Canaries.
And I took the Corvette!
Kvetos, listen, you started it, right?
You're like a little kid.
Let me tell you something, listen.
People who lie like that and always want to be the best really piss me off.
You bet.
And don't count on us ever coming.
We're not coming.
And I'm not voting for Ruzena.
Nobody is.
We're not voting for Ruzena.
Nobody, got it?
Nobody.
Goodbye.
So the pig slaughter is off.
Now what?
Just turning around.
What kind of person are you, Director?
What do you mean?
Those people haven't eaten in two days.
And I've been eating grass, bro!
And Horvat lost his deposit!
I was also supposed to have a minister!
He went on vacation!
And has an empty apartment!
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
What was that?
We ran over something.
Oh God, what?
I don't know!
All I can see is that damn winch!
It looked like a wild boar!
Brake!
Now!
Keep going!
Is everyone okay?
The snout is mine!
It's mine!
Pacovsky here, Kvetos, hi.
Yeah yeah, we arrived safely.
Working hard, working hard, you know, the metro line D doesn't build itself.
Yeah, sure, we should get together sometime.
Yeah, you could come visit us in Dejvice.
Look, Kvetos, rather not, okay?
What, me, bragging?
Fine then, come visit.
Sure, anytime, Saturday.
Sure.
Take care, bye.
What an idiot.
Don't count on Xenie.